as the wheel turns: my losing streak is done

the wheel turns... what does that even mean? i did some quick online google-searching, and found out that the original saying has to do with something very much like the modern-day, commonly accepted concept of karma-- or "what goes around comes around." the saying the wheel turns has to do with punishment, meaning that the bad things in life happen to you for a reason. it's tied to the religious belief that all people inherently suck. haha, just kidding. (kind of?)

anyway, that's not how i see it. for me, the wheel turns means simply that your time will come. that life is up, and life is down but when you're at the bottom have faith that on the next turn you'll catch a ride on up.




and as we all know from the doorknob in alice in wonderland one good turn does deserve another.





but i think that the prospect of ending up at the bottom again is what makes being at the top so worth it. enjoy it while you can, because it won't always be like this. don't take it for granted. enjoy it. you won't always be young, you might not always be free and beautiful and happy. bad things might happen. bad things might be happening now. but enjoy the things that you do have. enjoy your imagination, your propensity for belief in the inherent goodness of people, enjoy the people around you, who make you laugh.

because everybody needs somebody sometimes

that was my goal for the summer, and although it's by no means over, i think i'm doing a fairly good job.

which brings me to my long-awaited, much-needed post about camping.

[although interlude for my thursday night jail/bail experience. things i learned? cops can arrest you for whatever they want. they can hold you for some period of time for no reason at all, bail amounts for doing nothing are slightly ridiculous and my roommate is pretty hardcore considering if it had been me i would have broken down and sat in a corner and cried or something.]

but we made it through that night, and suddenly i was floating...

and even recalling the experience a week and a half later feels like trying to recall a dream after you've shaken the groggy sleepiness, gotten up, dressed, and on with your day. beautiful, but gosh, could that have been real?

you'd think getting really, really sick would have helped bring me back to reality. but for once in my life, it seems like i can only remember the good parts of camping, and all the bad parts just fade away, like maybe they were the real dream. i feel like it was my sneak-peek at paradise, so i would remember that if only i keep going, someday i'll be there, for real. and in all honesty, it worked.

now if only i could believe that all the time.